It's A Baby Cake Creep Off!

Alright, minions, let's settle this.

Would you choose...

Door #1?

WILL the head tilt towards you?
WILL the eyes open?
The world may never know... 'cuz I'm outta here.

Door #2?

Heavy is the head that wears the crown... 'cuz that thing is ginormous. ("It's like Sputnik!")

Door #2.5?

No butts, no cuts, no no NO CUTTING BABIES IN HALF, PEOPLE.
How many times do we have to go through this? Eeesh.

Or finally...

Door #3?

AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!

Thanks to Natasha S., Alicia F., Mandie M., & Jill D. for proving babies are just as terrifying as I think they are.

*****

P.S. Watch me un-creepify this post by going from creepy baby cakes to baby beef cakes:

The Buff Baby Rattle

This is hilarious. And a real thing! Amazon helpfully suggested I pair it with the "Do You Even Lift?" baby onesie and now I wish I had a weightlifting friend with a baby to give this to.

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Like You Need Any: More Weird Reasons To Buy Cake

Need more excuses to eat cake, minions? Then I'VE GOT YA COVERED.

Why not celebrate:

The Birth of Man

A little esoteric perhaps, but if anyone asks, just say you're being sarcastic.

A Really Nice Meadow:

For those out standing in their fields.

Calling Dibs On The Front Passenger's Seat:

A Good Steak?

At least, I assume that's what this diagram is.
(Why celebrate steak with cake? Because cake is better than steak, duh.)

How Many Cakes You've Had:

So meta. I love it.

Anyone else wondering what your number would be? 'Cuz if we're counting slices from separate cakes, then the CW Book Tours alone mean I've got most of you beat. [Wistfully remembers the days when I got a slice of cake every night after each show.] Ahhh. Good times.

Hang on, I'm not sure this is something to be celebrated, but cake DOES help:

It better be chocolate.

In fact, this next one is a MUCH better occasion for cake, am I right, ladies?

HECK YEAH.

Thanks to Juliann B., Ramona R., Jennifer E., Julie S., Jennie R., Katy T., & Amanda M. for inspiring a generation of future hysterectomy cakes.

*****

P.S. That reminds me of my Wonder Womb DIY, but if you're not feeling crafty you can always buy this:

"Ivy the Plush Uterus"

I'm trying to figure out why it's named Ivy - why not Ursula or Stabby? - but all I've got is ivy's association with poison. Which, come to think of it, sounds about right. :p

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: